MY STORY
“It must be nice to put that card in the machine and get money out that you don’t earn... It’s not bad in Seonaid’s world, is it.”
These were just some of the words my husband said to me regularly, amongst other things.
So what exactly was Seonaid’s world?
I had moved to Dubai in my early twenties to fulfil my dream of travelling, but somehow I had landed myself a job in the corporate world, and I ended up living there for 13 years.
One marriage and two children later, the corporate world seemed a distant memory. I was a full-time mum, which I loved, but would often feel like I had completely lost my identity with no financial freedom. Being an expat with a young family can be very lonely, so I made sure that my week was filled with activities and friends to keep me sane. On the face of it, I had the perfect Dubai life but below the surface loomed a killer shark that was waiting to bite…
The guilt I felt for not contributing financially to our family was immense. I forever felt indebted. The financial freedom I had once enjoyed had been replaced with asking for permission. After every transaction was monitored, I would jokingly call him the bank manager, not realising just how controlled I was.
There came a point one day when things hit me - like a brick in the face. I was being given step by step instructions on how to put a cheque in the bank. “Do you think you can manage to do it right?” Seriously?!! I might have been a full-time mum, but I was certainly more than capable of depositing a cheque in the bank! I once lived in the fast-paced corporate world pitching business to clients - yes, I think I can deposit a cheque thank you very much!
That’s when I began to think. What am I capable of? Who was I, and what was I actually good at?
I mulled these questions over a lot, and every time I drew a complete blank. I honestly felt I had nothing to offer anymore. I’d lost myself, my independence and my confidence. I was mentally caged and suppressed.
Fast forward.…UK, one divorce and a complete emotional breakdown later; the shark had not only taken a bite, it had ripped my heart out. I had discovered the ugly truth: my perfect life was indeed a lie.
That feeling of not being enough is the worst. Knowing I couldn’t give what multiple other women could. To discover the secret life and lies of the one person you never thought would hurt you is soul-destroying. The emotional abuse and events that unfolded over the coming years is another story...
The important question is, how did I get to where I am now? Having sought counselling in the early days, it soon became apparent that we kept focusing on the problem each week and not possibilities for my future. I seemed to be in a very dark deep hole, and I had no idea how to get out. The life I had planned had not gone to plan. There was no Plan B. Antidepressants got me through the coming years, but I was almost zombie-like. I couldn’t recall one week to the next.
I was masking the problem and was yet to find the solution. I had returned to full-time work, which helped empower me to keep going. Since it was entirely down to me to financially support myself and my girls for the first time, I found myself suffering from OCD daily, anxiety and panic attacks - all the while trying to keep up the pretence of being a strong, happy mummy. I vividly remember one day driving to work and wanting to cross the central lane straight into the oncoming lorry. I wanted to end the pain.
Time is a healer, and eventually, you learn to live with a new normal, but believe me when I say that once I discovered coaching, I honestly wished I had discovered it sooner. I spent years feeling trapped, worthless and massively lacked self-belief. I decided it was time to look after me.
It was time to take action. I heavily invested in myself, and I embarked on a journey of self-development. After completing University and still feeling unfulfilled, I got myself a coach. I soon realised the internal limitations I had pushed on myself. I’d been so busy on the treadmill I hadn’t seen how far I had come. I was able to remove the labels, let go of the beliefs I had formed, and finally tame the voice in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough. With consistent action, I started to see a change. I felt better about myself, my capabilities, and my confidence grew.
The change in me was noticed. Friends and family were commenting - not only was ‘Seonaid back’ but she was back stronger than ever before! I soon realised that I could turn my adversity into an asset, my misery into motivation and my pain into power! I had finally figured out exactly who I was, what I wanted and what gave me the fire in my belly! Coaching had impacted me so much that I wanted to help others suffering in the same way I did - and more so, I wanted to help amazing women who were just like me, feeling the way I once did.
Fast forward to today, and I am now an Internationally Accredited Life Coach, NLP Master Practitioner and Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach, helping men and women on a journey of re-discovery to become unstuck in times of challenge, transform their mindset, and create emotional freedom. The mind is very powerful - we can allow it to make us feel worthless and fill us with self-doubt and limiting beliefs; that same mind however, with the help of powerful coaching can truly empower us to transform our beliefs, remove internal barriers and unleash our potential.
If you resonate with my story and are ready to transform your mindset and embark on a journey of self discovery to create emotional freedom and the life you truly desire, you can take advantage of my complimentary session, where you will have the opportunity to experience some powerful coaching that can truly transform your life!
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